The Importance of Space

I KNOW that part of the MORE that we are looking for starts with an element of space. Space? you might wonder. Space can be a challenging thing to find in life today. There is SO much to fill our lives with—material things, mental and physical to-do lists and all those thoughts that are continuously filling our minds. I realize that for many people the idea of having a little space—for reflection, for quiet, for just being in the moment and enjoying it, whatever it brings—can seem very far away, even daunting.

And that’s OK. It’s even understandable if you look around at our world today. However, without the space, it is quite challenging to really see, find and live your MORE. Without the space, there is SO much stuff clouding your view, it is almost impossible to know what that MORE is let alone be able to live it.

I know from my own experience and that of my clients, that when we give ourselves that space, the possibility for clarity and for fulfillment increases tremendously. So this week, I ask you to bring more space into your life. 'What exactly does that mean?', you might be asking. Well, only you know what that looks like for you. Space could be SO many things…it could be 10 minutes of writing in a journal, or a walk outside feeling the ground beneath your feet and the air in your lungs. It could be meditating or doing yoga or painting or dancing. The criteria for space is the following: you want there to be quiet, you want to quiet your mind as much as possible and focus on whatever you are doing. You can even use your senses to get away from those thoughts. Focus on all that you are hearing, all that you are feeling on your skin, etc.

The above are just examples. Space comes in many forms and sizes. And don’t be worried about the amount of time you spend doing this. If any of this sounds overwhelming, you can start by just bringing space to mind a few times a day. When that feels natural, you can start experimenting on a small scale and see how it feels. There is no right answer. And what feels right might change daily or you might want to have the same routine every day. Be patient with yourself, especially if this feels challenging. Getting comfortable with space is a first step in getting clearer about the unique version of MORE that is YOURS.

Image: Karen Harding / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

My Own More Than Fine Story

I lived in the Just Fines for most of my life. Looking in from the outside, you would think I had everything I needed to feel completely fulfilled. But there was always an element missing. At times I could ignore it and at others, it was just like this dull ache that sapped my energy and left me feeling blaaaaah.

I did lots of things to find the More that I was looking for. But in the beginning, all of these things were outside of myself. Looking back, I now see that one of my strategies for dealing with the Just Fines was to push myself and give myself challenging new things to do.

I learned a lot through those experiences and did a lot of interesting and fun things--I was an exchange student in Sweden for a year and then ended up staying for 6 more years, I returned to school in my 30s and earned my Masters in TESOL and then I went off to teach English at a university in Finland. I returned to Sweden for 8 more years and taught Business English and managed the Language Department at a Training company. So while I learned a lot through these big transitions, this strategy would only work for a little while and then those Just Fines would creep back in.

The beginning of the turnig point for me was when I made a pivotal Just Fine decision. I was in California and I took a job that seemed Fine, but was so wrong for me that I ended up getting really sick. That was a really dark time in my life and it was after that, I started waking up and paying more attention.

And the end of the big turning point came a few years ago when I started working with a coach. At the time, I was living in Sweden, leading a good life and I was at a perfect Just Fine stage and that aching had returned. Working with a coach changed my life. I started really getting clear about what was important to me in life and stopped basing decisions on what made sense or what I ‘should’ do.

Today, I am living my MORE--which is exciting,fulfilling and fills me with contentment and joy. That doesn’t mean there aren’t challenges, changes and transitions all the time. It just means that I am living from that place of knowing and enjoying where I am right now and finding my own power in this whole process.

What does my story bring up for you?