Bejeweling Television

I have a confession. Sometimes my mind just needs a break. Sometimes the inspiration needs some time to find me (read last week's blog here for more on this). Sometimes I just have a need to do activities that really have only one effect and that's to help me tune out. I really wish that weren't so, but right now, it's the way it is so I've decided to embrace it. I'm also learning a lot from it. So I thought by exploring this with you here a bit, there might be some information and/or insights that would help you uncover some truths about you and your journey.

Even though the activities I choose aren't horrible, I still sense a lot of judgment around these activities on my part. I wish I chose things like meditation and yoga. And while these might be my choices at certain times, my current choices are TV & mind-boggling games on my iPhone.  Whew--that feels good to admit! When I have had some downtime lately, THOSE 2 things are what I have chosen. It's really not very like me - I'm certainly NOT a video game person & the last few years, I've been much more picky with my TV choices. But this is what I've noticed and learned from these habits of late:

1) It didn't really help when I resisted doing these things because it always ended up that I did them anyway. So I stopped resisting & told myself this was just where I was right now. I reminded myself that I wasn't going to become a lazy hermit because of this. As a result, the judgment dispersed & I let it be what is was.

2) I've noticed that I have been really tapping into my creative energy lately. I'm not sure which came first - needing to tune out a bit because I have been more creative or being more creative because I have tuned out more. It doesn't matter. Right now, I'm LOVING the creative energy and following this flow.

3) I've noticed a pattern that I have a need for this sometimes before big events. I'm going off on a 3 week trip in a couple of weeks and it feels like I'm preparing myself in some way. I would like to find other ways to prepare myself, but this is the one I know now and I seem to be going with it. So I'll just go with it AND I'll be thinking of other ways that I might like to explore in the future.

We all have ways to 'turn off' and tune out. With awareness, this can be a way that we re-charge our batteries. However, it is important that the awareness is there. Without it, we might choose activities that are destructive OR we might choose them at the expense of other things such as relationships and connections. This can lead to isolation and loneliness.

So there you have it...my confession of the ways I choose to tune out these days. What does this bring up for you? Are there activities that help you 'tune out' that lead then to a re-charged battery? Are there some of these activities that you'd like to do less of or do you have a good balance? I invite you to explore your 'distractions' and see what comes up for you.

Tetris, anyone?

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YOUR Energy Scale

So one of the things I often ask my clients to do is to be very aware of their energy. I talked about this in a newsletter a while back so click here to read that if you're interested. I'd like to revisit this & offer a few more thoughts now.

I invite my clients to get very clear about what gives them energy and what takes their energy. If you haven't thought about this before, start being curious about it. When you do something, or spend time with someone, see what happens....do you get a 'kick' of energy or do you feel drained?

At times, this can be a little tricky since if we are running on little fuel (due to too many commitments, lack of sleep, poor eating habits etc), our energy gauge is off. If you want to play the Energy Game, it's best to do it when you have a bit of fuel in the tank.

So once you know there is a little reserve there, think about YOUR scale. What do you feel like when you have a 'good' amount of energy? On a scale from 1 to 10, is this optimal amount a 5 (sort of like an Even Steven feeling) for you or a 10 (the faucet is turned on FULL blast) or somewhere in between? There's no right answer since it depends on YOUR relationship with energy. What does it feel like when you are drained and how do you know? When are you maybe using too much energy? These are all questions you can explore and answer for yourself. And they can lead you to the next powerful question... 'How much of my  time do I spend  doing things that fill me up?'

Again, I'd like to remind you that this is your OWN scale and not someone else's - like your partner's or your best friend's or society around you. This can be quite fun when you start exploring it. Of course the ways we get our energy are completely subjective. It's easy, though, to be influenced by what OTHERS think is a good way to use energy. I invite you to think about this - which ways do the people around you think are the 'right' ways to spend your time & energy? Do they match what YOU think?

Here's a simple example...You might be totally fueled by going to a party and spending time with many people, while most often, that would totally drain me. Instead, my energy comes from being in smaller groups and having one-on-one time with people.

 
Remember, there is no 'right' way. And naturally it doesn't mean you can always avoid the things that drain you. It does mean, however, that you can become more aware of how you are spending your time. Once you start tapping into this, it becomes essential to honor yourself this way. When you do this, the fuel lasts MUCH longer and therefore, there is much more of YOU to go around. So....what does YOUR energy scale look like?


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Listen

Such a beautiful word. Sounds like a simple thing as well. To listen. And sometimes it is simple. Other times we do ALL kinds of things so we can avoid listening. We do this with others sometimes. When someone is talking to us and instead of REALLY listening and hearing what they are saying, we are somewhere else. Maybe we are even thinking about what we want to say when they have finished their sentence. When you aren't REALLY taking in what they are saying, there isn't a lot of listening going on.

And how about when it comes to yourself? It can be VERY tempting to not listen in this dialogue as well. Sometimes there are sooooo many 'voices' going on in our heads, it is difficult to know which one is the TRUE voice. And sometimes instead of figuring that out, we decide we'll just push those voices out of the way and try not to focus on them. We figure they'll go away; they'll get tired after a while and leave us alone.

However, this really doesn't work. Even if the voices we are avoiding do get quieter (which usually is NOT the case), often this just means they show up in some other way -- maybe a heightened conflict, an illness, discontent.

Listening is a key element of going from Just Fine to that something MORE than just fine. And the key is really to be curious about ALL the voices. They are all just different parts of ourselves wanting to be heard. You know like a small child tugging on our sleeve, wanting some attention. When we give the voice the attention it wants, it often gets quieter. Or at least we can feel as if we're working together with it instead of fighting it.

Today, tune into your voices. Maybe there's one that you KNOW is there, but you've been trying to push down, push away. Remember that the voice just wants to be listened to. Be curious about it and ask it what it wants you to know. See if you can get past judging it -- it's not good or bad. It's just a part of you that wants to be listened to. See if you can get a little quiet, take a breath and do just that...listen.



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