Full Circle

I was a bit absent on my blog this month since I spent the last 3 weeks in Sweden. The trip was rich with memories, learning & lessons. I thought about this story as I sat on the plane on my way there. Whenever I think of it, I am always amazed by the twists and turns of life. And more & more, I see how much is happening in the background without our knowledge if we aren't paying attention AND how much power we have when we DO pay attention.

 

I'll never forget the day I went to my first teaching assignment in Stockholm. I just got hired as a freelance Business English teacher and I took the train out to a suburb to the company I would be teaching for, Telia AB. Just as I was walking up to the building where I would have my first class, it hit me....

About 11 years earlier I was working at a Japanese trading company in Stockholm doing administrative work. I had a lot of contact with customers in Sweden and was the middle person in the purchasing of telephone cables from Japan. Our biggest customer was Telia (at that time it was called Televerket). One of the men I had a lot of contact with told me once that he was taking English lessons that his company provided him with.

I remember thinking that teaching English at a company was something that I wanted to do. I wasn't very fulfilled doing the work I was doing at the time, but didn't see how I could teach English since I had no training. I quickly gave that idea up. A few years went by, a relationship ended and I found myself back in California feeling lost and confused. Finally, I decided it was time to go back to school. I did and earned my MA in Teaching English as a Second Language.

After earning my degree I was ready for another adventure. I found a job in Finland and taught at the university of Turku for a couple of years. This was a huge challenge and a wonderful learning experience. While at the university, the idea of teaching Business English kept coming back to me so in 2002, I decided on a new adventure, going off to Stockholm to see if I could get a job doing just that.

As I stood there that day ready to begin my teaching career in Stockholm, I realized that this was the exact company and the exact location where my customer had been receiving English lessons many years before. It struck me how the plan had been unfolding the whole time without me even being conscious of it.

I've had a few of these experiences in my life and they have taught me the importance of being clear about what we want. As I've become stronger in myself, I've realized also how we can speed up the process of achieving our dreams by talking about what we want, writing about what we want and even living as if we already have what we want. This last one is key as it brings up the FEELINGS of having what you want - which helps the energy wrapped around your goal find you much more easily.

Sound a little spooky? Yeah, maybe. But I can tell you, that day as I realized the synchronicity of what had happened, I knew that I was EXACTLY where I wanted to be doing EXACTLY what I wanted to be doing. I also knew that with even more awareness of what I was choosing to focus on, pretty much anything was and IS possible.

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How do YOU define success?

Success is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm.

-Winston Churchill

 

I love this quote. It's quite a different view of success than a lot of people have. Usually people think if they haven't succeeded, they have failed. This quote completely challenges that way of looking at success and I always love a good challenge of the 'normal' way of thinking.

The definition of success has been one of those 'hot' topics in my coaching lately. Whenever that happens, it's like I notice it all around me so I've been exploring the topic and bringing it up with lots of different people.

For many, it seems that defining success is linked with how much money they are making - and a complete tally of all the assets and things they have in their lives. That is certainly ONE way to define success. Because this is often the view that we're fed by the society we live in, many of you may not realize that there are LOTS of other ways to define success. It could be that success for you is to have meaningful connections in your life, or to live a balanced life or to contribute in your unique way in the world or to create new opportunities for learning & growth. The list is really endless & naturally, success could be a combination of lots of different things.

So my invitation to you this week is to explore YOUR definition of success. What is success for you? Have you felt it at certain times of your life? If so, what exactly did it feel like - how did you know it was success? Another way to tap into this is to look at other people. Maybe you see someone around you who you feel has succeeded in a way that inspires you. Or maybe you can find parts of the lives of a number of people that you see as successful - combining these parts can help you create your own unique definition of success.

Your definition of success might be something that comes to you quickly or it might take a bit of exploration & reflection. Either way it's perfect & just enjoy. Just remember that If you don't know how YOU define success, it will be very difficult for you to know when you get there. And it is actually entirely possible that you're already there & you don't even know it. Hmmm....

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The Refresh Button: Becoming Bi-Continental, Part 2

It took a little while before I understood it all. I was actually a little confused when I started feeling the urge to sell my apartment in Stockholm. Hadn’t I wanted 2 homes? Hadn’t I wanted to become Bi-Continental? And now that was so close, how could I just ‘give that up’? I think other people were confused too. I had been talking about this forever and then suddenly, I was just ready to change my mind. How could that be? Didn’t I need that home to fulfill that Bi-Continental Life dream?

The most amazing thing was that this decision was NOT a hard one for me. It was actually one of the most clear choices I have made in my life. And I can say I have struggles with a large number of choices—making pro and cons lists, talking to people over and over, deliberating back and forth. There was NONE of that this time. I was unsure for a while, but I just let it be that way.

Once I did KNOW, I knew that it would be emotional to let go of my apartment, to let go of my job, to let go of an extremely comfortable daily life with a great number of friends and colleagues who I love. I also realized that although I knew that would be emotional, it also felt right so it wasn’t that hard. The hardest part, actually, was letting go of the IDEA of the Bi-continental Life. I had dreamed of it for so long. How could I just suddenly let it go?

And then it hit me one day. I realized that all along I had been so rigid with my definition of Bi-Continental that I didn’t know that really I HAD been living it for years. Not just KIND of living it, but REALLY living it. I AM Bi-Continental. And it has NOTHING to do with HAVING a home in two places. It has, instead, EVERYTHING to do with the fact that I FEEL at home in two places. So no wonder it was easy to see my apartment. I have already achieved my dream. I had just forgotten to hit that essential refresh button so I was using the right definition.

What does this story bring up for you? Is there somewhere in your life that you are living with an old definition of what you want or who you want to be?

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Becoming Bi-Continental, Part 1

Back in 1999, I came up with the idea/dream/vision of leading what I called my Bi-continental Life. I was living in Turku, Finland at the time teaching English at the University there. I had been hired on a temporary contract for a year although I ended up staying there for 2 and a half in total. About halfway through, my friend Kat came to visit me from the US. It was in conversations with her that the Bi-Continental idea was born. There were people in the US that we knew talked about bi-coastal--having a home on both sides of the US. So why not think bigger?

I enjoyed aspects of living in Europe, but I liked being back in the US too. So I decided, why limit myself? I could have it all. I could have a home in Europe and a home in the US. Now let me assure you this was a pretty new way of thinking for me. And if I thought ‘practically’, there was really no reason to believe this was a do-able option. Especially at the salary I was making at the time. But I knew even then that life is FULL of options and that having a clear vision was the place to start. I knew there were plenty of people living their dreams, so why couldn’t that be true for me as well?

And in the next 10 years, it did become true although maybe not in the exact way I had thought. I ended up making a life for myself in Sweden. I got a good job, I eventually bought an apartment in downtown Stockholm (this was the first time I owned property so this was BIG!). And every 6 months I went back to California and stayed for 3 - 5 weeks. Now, I didn’t have one home there. But I had places where I stayed that felt like home every time I went.

I did that for a total of 9 years. And at the end of that time, I started feeling like I wanted to spend more time in California. So I did a test. I took a leave of absence for a year, rented out my apartment and came to live in California. And during those months, I realized that the idea of the Bi-Continental that I had (two homes in two countries) was not at all what I really wanted….
To be continued in the next post…

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Welcome to the More Than Just Fine Blog

Welcome to my first post here on More Than Just Fine. This feels a bit monumental as I am not a blogger. Wait, what am I saying? That is obviously not true as I am blogging as I write this. I have not BEEN a blogger in the past nor have I ever thought I would be a blogger. But recently, due to a number of different events that I will talk more about in future blogs, I realized that the blogging world was pulling me in.

I have spent the last few years re-designing my life -- making it truly my OWN life. This is not necessarily an easy feat. And as there was actually nothing really wrong with my life before, there was one element that I have been acutely aware of during the process. It was vitally important that the life I designed be MORE than just fine. Fine is fine. But I wanted MORE than fine. And I knew it was out there. I just didn’t know how to get it or...to be honest, I didn’t really even know what that MORE looked like.

I was stuck in what I call the Just Fines for quite a while. And although it can be an ok place to be for a while, when you are stuck there it feels stifling and stagnant and uninspiring. When you are there, it can sometimes feel like you will never find your way--like you will always have this hole to fill, this thing to fix. I can tell you from personal experience that there IS more to life than Just Fine. If you are currently stuck there, it is possible to get out. I promise. And not get out for just a little while, but get out for GOOD!

I have learned LOADS along the way to finding my MORE than just fine. And I am now coaching people in getting out of the Just Fines and finding their own unique version of MORE. And this blog is an extension of that. So that is my main intention with this blog--to inspire and support YOU.

So what is your MORE and are you living it? If you are not sure what that MORE might be or even if you are, but you know you are not yet living it...come along with me. Finding my MORE was the best journey of my life (and I have had some good ones!) and I would be willing to bet that it will be yours too!