Relishing the Unknown

Have you ever been in the middle of a situation and you had no idea how it would turn out? Maybe it was a job interview and you’re waiting to hear back about that job you really want or perhaps a test score or someone making a decision about a relationship you’re in or want to be in, or there’s a new home you’d like and you’re waiting to hear if you’ve been accepted as a renter or for a loan.

In these situations, it can be easy to feel as if someone else is deciding your fate. It might feel as if you’re just waiting and you just want the ‘answer’ so you can get on with things. These are certainly times when it can be a challenge to just let go and allow things to flow.

You might want to really TRY in these situations – you might want to force a certain outcome. When we do this, we miss some great learning because we are focused on a particular thing and think that if THAT thing doesn’t happen, then something is wrong.

If you’re in one of these situations now or the next time you are, I invite you to shift your perspective on this. What if instead of being focused on what will happen (which you don’t know), you focus on feeling what you are feeling right now? What if you relish the unknown, knowing that whatever DOES happen, you will never have this particular stage of the unknown again. I know this might be a stretch for you and if so, that's fine. I ask you to just be open to the idea that the unknown is not necessarily something to run from. 

There’s such beauty in the unknown. And letting things unfold as they are meant to can be a beautiful dance. I’m not suggesting you are passive or that you do nothing or say nothing. I’m suggesting you are VERY clear with your intention & that you make it clear to anyone (& everyone!) involved and then you let go & you relish where you are.

Being in this unknown gives us SO much information. We can see how important something is to us (or not). We can notice what things come up to us – see where our attachment is & where we might like to let go just a bit. We can see how much we our trusting – others, ourselves, the universe out there. I invite you to experiment with this – be open to the unknown and to the huge opportunity for learning that comes with it.

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The beauty of the past and present

As I walked the city I had lived in for 15 years total, so many memories came back to me. There were special periods in my life in Stockholm that I knew were special somehow & now looking back, I see how special they were and in what way. Even when you are appreciating the memories you are making, the context changes as we live our lives & things evolve. There are meanings, lessons, learnings, nuances that become more evident when you can look back at them. It’s like the lens gets wider and you can see how things relate.

One day during my visit I went out to meet some friends in a pretty new area in Stockholm. I hadn't been there for years. The last time I was there, it was just being built. Now it was like its own little city on the water and it was quite amazing to see how it had transformed. On the way on the tram, I passed a dear friend’s old apartment and remembered the many visits I had with her there, before I lived in Stockholm and then all the dinners we had together when I did live in there. I remember staying there for 2 weeks while she was gone and I had decided to move back. I remembered all the times we had picnics out on the rocks overlooking the water & all the different friends who joined us during those years.

The memories were flowing during my entire trip and it was almost like watching a good movie. I could almost hear the soundtrack. As I was re-connecting with these memories and meeting my friends and making new memories, I felt so much. And most of all, I felt connection – connection to all the people who made my time in Sweden what it was and connection to me and to the person I was while I was there.

I see how much having that experience has shaped who and where I am now. It’s not totally clear, actually. I’m still processing and the lessons and learnings are still coming. What I do know, though, is that we often hear not to dwell on the past. And I thoroughly agree that it rarely serves us to DWELL on the past. However, it can be an excellent idea to re-visit it now and then and to follow your journey a bit.

What memories or periods in your life would you like to re-visit and learn from? Think back to that time and answer these questions or any others that feel relevant: What made your life rich back then and what were you most missing? How does that compare to where you are now? What is your biggest learning from that time in your life? How did that time lead you to where you are and who you are now?