How Happy Are You?

A couple weeks ago I attended the Happiness Initiative Forum in Santa Cruz. This was a gathering of people to hear more about the topic of Happiness, what it means, how we measure it, etc. I’m over-simplifying now, but basically it has to do with the idea that Happiness or Wellness or whatever we call it, could be a better way to measure the sustainability of a country or community than the GNP – the way a place’s quality of living is currently measured. Activist leaders and authors John de Graaf (Affluenza) and Cecile Andrews (Circle of Simplicity) were the leaders of this discussion. To read more about this movement go to: http://www.happycounts.org/. There’s a survey that gives you a look at your happiness level in different areas of your life. To access it directly, click here.

I found the evening and discussion extremely interesting. The topic of what makes us happy is something I’m always exploring with myself and with clients. Happy can sometimes seem like a hard thing to pin down. What does it feel like exactly? Is it fleeting or does it stick around a while? When are you happiest? How do you know?
 

I know that for me Happiness feels more like the culmination of other sensations & emotions that I experience – joy, contentment, harmony, peace, expansiveness, for example. And it’s not the absence of conflict, necessarily, but knowing that I’m connected enough with myself and that I have the tools I need to handle the conflict.

 
I invite you to explore your own happiness this week. Perhaps start by taking the survey on the happycounts website. Or perhaps use your own internal scale – your own Happiness Scale (there’s a blog post on internal scales here if you aren’t sure what I’m talking about). Whatever feels best for you is the perfect (and happiest!) place to start.

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Relishing the Unknown

Have you ever been in the middle of a situation and you had no idea how it would turn out? Maybe it was a job interview and you’re waiting to hear back about that job you really want or perhaps a test score or someone making a decision about a relationship you’re in or want to be in, or there’s a new home you’d like and you’re waiting to hear if you’ve been accepted as a renter or for a loan.

In these situations, it can be easy to feel as if someone else is deciding your fate. It might feel as if you’re just waiting and you just want the ‘answer’ so you can get on with things. These are certainly times when it can be a challenge to just let go and allow things to flow.

You might want to really TRY in these situations – you might want to force a certain outcome. When we do this, we miss some great learning because we are focused on a particular thing and think that if THAT thing doesn’t happen, then something is wrong.

If you’re in one of these situations now or the next time you are, I invite you to shift your perspective on this. What if instead of being focused on what will happen (which you don’t know), you focus on feeling what you are feeling right now? What if you relish the unknown, knowing that whatever DOES happen, you will never have this particular stage of the unknown again. I know this might be a stretch for you and if so, that's fine. I ask you to just be open to the idea that the unknown is not necessarily something to run from. 

There’s such beauty in the unknown. And letting things unfold as they are meant to can be a beautiful dance. I’m not suggesting you are passive or that you do nothing or say nothing. I’m suggesting you are VERY clear with your intention & that you make it clear to anyone (& everyone!) involved and then you let go & you relish where you are.

Being in this unknown gives us SO much information. We can see how important something is to us (or not). We can notice what things come up to us – see where our attachment is & where we might like to let go just a bit. We can see how much we our trusting – others, ourselves, the universe out there. I invite you to experiment with this – be open to the unknown and to the huge opportunity for learning that comes with it.

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